


Just Tell Him

by TreeTree



Category: Avengers, Captain America
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Natasha Romanoff is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, post Captain America:The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-06-09 19:14:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6919681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TreeTree/pseuds/TreeTree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"That's easier said than done. I'm also kind of love with him and he can never ever know. I feel that if I tell him I'm gay, that might just slip out too."</p>
<p>	"James, you can't avoid him or this forever. You need to talk to Steve. You can do it willingly or I can get involved. The choice is yours," Natasha says.</p>
<p>	"Fine. I'll talk to him when he gets back."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Tell Him

Bucky has been in love with Steve for years, not that Steve knows. He doesn't know how long that he's been in love with his best friend, since they were teenagers is all he could really tell you. Then the war happened and Bucky fell from that train. After that, it was seventy years in and out of cryo-freeze and doing Hydra's dirty work. He's better now though, hasn't had an incident in over six months. What he has been doing though, is catching up on the 21st century.

The Avengers have been really good to him since he moved into the tower. He's proud to be able to call them his friends. He plays pranks with Clint, meditates with Bruce, jogs with Sam (who has yet to move into the tower) and Steve, he talks to Natasha about pretty much everything, and he and Tony watch movies together while Tony fixes the arm. He doesn't spend much time with Vision, Wanda, and Pietro, but he likes them just fine. Bucky thinks Pietro is hilarious and they crack a lot of jokes together.

At the moment, he's going through a list Stark gave him about things he absolutely needs to know, after having it for months. One of the things on the list is "people who aren't white aren't evil or scary, Google the civil rights movement". Bucky can't believe that Tony thought that he might be racist, but when he thinks about it, it's a logical assumption that someone of his age would be racist. After all the time Bucky's spent in the lab talking and watching stupid movies with him, you'd think Tony'd know that. Then again, this list is months old. Still, he finds the civil rights movement fascinating. All of those people were so damn brave and Bucky respects the hell out of them. 

The next item on the list is homosexuals. Wait, what? Does Tony know? Does he know about how Bucky has never looked at a woman with lust, but is attracted to people of the male verity? Does he know what an abomination Bucky is? Why hasn't he already turned him in? Has he told Steve? Oh shit. Oh fucking fuck fuck fuck. Instead of googling this particular item, like most people would have, he marches down to Tony's workshop and demands entrance.

"Hey Buckaroo, are you alright? Is that arm of yours fucking up again?," Tony asks when he enters.

"What is the meaning of this?," Bucky says, holding out the list.

"Is that the list I gave you months ago? Also, what?"

"You figured it out and then put it on the damn list just to taunt me, didn't you? Figured I'd Google it, then you could use my search history as proof for the cops when they came," Bucky says angrily.

"Bucky, I have no fucking clue what you're talking about. Which item on the list are you referring to?," Tony asks.

Bucky points to the word on the paper. Tony's eyes are confused for a second before they light up with understanding. 

"You didn't google it, did you? Well, here let me show you what you would have seen," says Tony, opening a new tab on his phone.

Tony hands his phone to Bucky and he reads the headlines. For a second, he thinks he read them wrong. But no, his eyes weren't playing tricks on him. Same sex marriage is legal in all fifty states. Does that mean that he's not a freak? Bucky knew they were wrong about a lot of things in his time, but he had always believed them when they had called him a monster for being attracted to men. 

"Do you wanna talk about it? I know I'm no therapist, but I've been through something similar before when I was younger," Tony asks.

"You're gay?"

"I'm bi. That means I like both men and women. Of course, as a child Howard always told me that my attraction to the same sex was disgusting. He told me that Captain America would've hated me for it. So, I repressed it. Then, I realized that Howard's a stupid bastard who doesn't know anything."

"Wait, Captain America hating you had that much of an effect on you as a child?"

"I worshipped the guy. He was my hero and the thought of disappointing him was too much to bear," Tony whispers.

"Does he hate you because of it? Steve, I mean."

"No, he's okay with it. I know, I was shocked too."

"I'm in love with him. Have been for as long as I can remember, but he can never know that. He doesn't feel the same way. Even if he were interested in men like that, why would he want to date me?," Bucky whispers.

"Why are you so sure he's straight?," Tony asks.

"Is he not? Has he told you anything?"

"He hasn't told me anything and I don't know for sure. But I've seen the way he looks at you like you put the stars in the sky. It's worth a shot."

"Maybe you're right, but you could be wrong too. I'm not willing to risk my friendship with Steve just to see if he maybe has romantic feelings for me," Bucky says.

"That's understandable. You might want to think about coming out to him though," Tony says.

"Coming out?," Bucky asks.

"Right, 1940s. It's when you tell someone that you aren't exactly heterosexual. I'll send you some links to articles that explain all of the terms."

"Thanks, Tony. For telling me all of this when you really didn't have to. I've always thought there was something wrong with me, it's like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders now."

"No problem. There are only two things I can really help the team with, that's making them new gear and helping out with someone's sexuality crisis."

"Have you done this sort of thing before for anyone on the team?," Bucky asks.

"Hell yeah! Wanda was questioning her sexuality and she came to me. Bruce sought my support when he realized he was asexual. Even Peter Parker, one of SI's most promising young scientists by day and web-shooting hero by night swung by. Ha. Swung. He was struggling with his feelings for Deadpool. That was a weird conversation, I gotta admit."

"Mind if I stay down here while I look at all these new terms in case I have any questions?," Bucky asks.

"Not at all. Make yourself at home on the couch, that's the only place in here that's slightly comfortable."

Bucky smiles and takes a seat on the couch as he pulls his phone out. Tony (Friday) has emailed him some links to different websites. The two things Bucky learned very quickly in this century is how to use his phone and the internet. Bucky loves the internet, it's very helpful for, ahem, research purposes. Yep, he definitely only uses it for information. Well, that's what Steve thinks anyway. 

The next few hours are spent learning terms like asexual, pansexual, demisexual, transgender, omnisexual, and so many more. He also learns about how hard everyone in the LGBTQ+ (another term he learned online) community has fought just for the simple right to get married. Bucky wishes he could have been in his right mind when same sex marriage became legal in all fifty states. Then he stumbles onto the Westboro Baptist Church and feels sick to his stomach.

"I guess not everyone's opinion has changed," Bucky mumbles.

Tony walks over to see what he's looking at and makes a face. "If I could, I would wipe all of those motherfucking bible-thumping bigots off the face of the earth," Tony says seriously.

"I'd love to help."

It's almost one in the morning when Bucky finally leaves the workshop. Tony had insisted watching this movie called "But I'm A Cheerleader". He said it didn't have the best quality, but it's one of his guilty pleasure movies. It was about a girl whose parents sent her to a conversion therapy camp who ended up running away with another girl that she met there. It was really cute. 

When he enters the floor he and Steve share, Steve is waiting for him in his room. His arms are crossed over chest and he's scowling. Oh great, what happened this time? Bucky is certain that he remembered to wash the dishes that morning, so what's up with his best friend/person he's in love with?

"Oh Buck, you're alright! I was so worried. You left here after supper and you never came back, I thought something had happened," Steve says as he pulls Bucky into a hug.

"Relax, Stevie. I was just talking with Tony."

"For eight hours? What on earth could you talk about for that long?"

"It's nothin', Steve. We were just talking. I'm allowed to talk to people who aren't you, you know," Bucky regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth.

"I didn't realize I was such a burden to you. If that's the case, don't spend time with me. See what I care," Steve snaps.

"Maybe I will," Bucky says as he pushes past Steve and towards the elevator.

"Where are you going?," Steve asks.

"Away from you!"

He goes to Tony's lab. Bucky's glad he has a shoulder to cry on in the form of Tony. No, seriously, he's crying on Tony's shoulder right now. Tony's running his fingers through Bucky's hair and it's very calming. 

"I was just scared. I thought he knew that I'm gay and I freaked out. Fuck, I ruin everything."

"Shh. It's alright, Buck. You've just come to terms with your sexuality, you have a lot going on in your head. Nobody would expect you to tell Steve right now," Tony says.

"He's my best friend, Tony. I should be able to tell him this."

"Do you want to watch another movie to take your mind off of it?," Tony asks.

"Sure."

Bucky falls asleep with his head on Tony's shoulder watching some movie about a teenager fighting some bald guy with no nose. He doesn't want to fall asleep but after the day he's had, he's exhausted.

The next day, Bucky doesn't see Steve at all. He looks in the gym, on their floor, on Natasha's floor, and in the kitchen. When he asks Friday, the AI says that Steve left the tower last night after their fight. While Friday assures him that Steve's okay, she won't give him his location. 

"Calm down, James. He went to see Sam, he'll be back in a few days," Natasha says as she enters his room.

"No he won't."

"And why's that?"

"We had a fight. I ran to Tony and he ran to Sam. He thinks I hate him," Bucky says quietly.

Natasha takes a seat next to him on the bed. He's been sulking under the covers all day. Bucky's glad that Natasha is the one here with him right now. She's one of the only people other than Steve and Tony who can talk some sense into him. Tasha and Bucky are quite close, their shared history in the Red Room is part of the reason for their unexpected friendship. Nat also can always tell when something's bothering him and when he's lying about it.

"Did you tell him you hated him when you had your fight?," she asks.

"Friday, show her the footage of the argument. It'd be easier for you to try to make me feel better if you see what happened."

While watching the video, Natasha's face is blank of any emotion whatsoever. That's not unusual, but it's unusual when it's just them in the room together. It sets him on edge when Tasha is like this, it means that she's thinking of some scheme that he's not going to enjoy.

"Natalia? What do you think of what happened? I need a second opinion here," Bucky says carefully.

"I think you were being very defensive towards Steve. What are you trying to hide from him, James? And don't bother trying to lie to me," Natasha says.

"Tony gave me this list of things I need to google about the 21st century and...," Bucky launches into the story about him finding out about homosexuality not being illegal anymore.

She listens intently, nodding her head every so often. When Bucky's finished with his sob story, she puts her hand on top of his. Natasha smiles at him and that confuses him further.

"I'm glad that you're coming to terms with who you are, James. As for Steve, he'll understand why you snapped at him. All you have to do is explain everything."

"That's easier said than done. I'm also kind of love with him and he can never ever know. I feel that if I tell him I'm gay, that might just slip out too."

"James, you can't avoid him or this forever. You need to talk to Steve. You can do it willingly or I can get involved. The choice is yours," Natasha says.

"Fine. I'll talk to him when he gets back."

"I knew you'd see it my way. Now, come on, the team is having pizza and movie night. Clint's insisting we watch Freaky Friday."

Bucky gives her a weak smile, takes her outstretched hand and lets her lead him down to the kitchen. When they arrive, Clint and Pietro are arguing about which pizza topping is better and Wanda and Vision are rolling their eyes at them. Bruce is reading something on his tablet. Tony strolls in covered in grease and clutching his coffee cup for dear life. The only thing missing is Steve. And boy, does Bucky miss Steve. Tony and Nat know this, so they try their hardest to get him to have some fun.

If anything, Bucky's glad Thor is back on Asgard, because he'd take an extremely direct approach to Bucky's foul mood and Steve's absence. Not that Bucky doesn't like Thor, he's just very blunt at times when he shouldn't be. However, Thor's always a fun guy to play Mario Kart with. Just don't steal his Poptarts unless you have a death wish. 

"No way, Barton. I refuse to watch Freaky Friday, that movie is an atrocity. Bucky agrees with me," Tony says when Clint tells everyone which movie he wants to watch.

"What's so bad about Freaky Friday? Other than a horribly alliterative title, that is," Bucky replies.

"Says the one with the alliterative name," Clint mutters.

"I wasn't dissing your movie, Birdbrain. But if you keep acting like that, I just might. C'mon Tony, give it a shot. We've watched worse movies together anyways," Bucky says referring to the But I'm A Cheerleader movie they watched a few days ago.

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about, Jaime Lannister. We've only watched top-notch films together," Tony says.

"Don't worry, Tones. I'm not gonna tell 'em which movie it was. After all, that would require me giving up one of my secrets at the same time."

"Fine. Clint, play the fucking movie. Bucky, I expect to use you as a human pillow considering Darcy and her boobs aren't here."

Bucky laughs at that. Every time Darcy Lewis is here for movie night, Tony uses her boobs as a pillow and sleeps through most of the movie. She definitely doesn't complain about being in such close proximity to the genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. That's one thing all of the Avengers learned when they moved into the tower, Tony Stark thrives on physical contact. Especially movie night cuddles. 

Tony falls asleep before Lindsey Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis swap bodies. He really should sleep more, but Bucky supposes he should be glad Tony sleeps at all. Bucky gets really into the movie, so into it that he doesn't notice when Steve walks into the room. He definitely doesn't notice the pang of jealousy that's written across Steve's face when he sees Bucky and Tony cuddling. When Steve runs back to the elevator, however, Bucky notices. 

Natasha just gives him a look and Bucky knows that if he doesn't go after Steve, Natasha will take matters into her own hands. He carefully maneuvers Tony so that he's laying on Nat without waking him before running for the elevator. This is it. He's got to tell Steve what's going on. 

He finds Steve sitting on their couch, staring at the wall with tears running down his cheeks. Oh no, Bucky needs to fix this right now. He takes a seat next to his best friend and puts a hand on his knee.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you the other day, Stevie. I shouldn't have done that, it wasn't your fault. There was something I was going to tell you, but then I got scared at the last minute and lashed out at you. I wasn't mad at you, I was mad at myself for not being able to do it."

"It's okay, Buck. You and Tony are together and that's great. I'm happy for you," Steve whispers, sounding so broken and lost.

"Me and Tony? You have got to be kidding me, Steven Grant Rogers. Tony is my friend, nothing more. He was the one who tried to talk me into telling you that I'm gay," Bucky says softly.

"Wait, that's what this is all about? You coming out of the closet? Oh, Buck. I'm so proud of you," Steve says as he pulls Bucky in for a hug.

"He also told me to man up and tell you that I've been in love with you since we were kids," Bucky whispers.

"Really?"

"Yeah, punk. I'm kind of in love with you."

"I love you too, jerk."

"We're a couple of fuckin' idiots. I shoulda told you that about 70 years ago," Bucky says.

"I would have told you, but I never thought I had a chance. So, I didn't bother. I wasn't going to risk ruining our friendship," Steve admits.

"Why didn't you think you had a chance, Stevie? It's always been you for me. Looking back, I realize I made that quite obvious."

"You had all the dames chasing you around town. Never with the same one twice and you kissed them like you meant it. I figured you were straight."

"Oh, Steve. I only did that to try to fix myself. I figured one day I'd kiss the right dame, and I wouldn't be a freak anymore. Also, have you always been this confident in your sexuality?"

"Pretty much. My ma knew about it, she told me that it was okay and that everyone else was just scared of me because I was different. She was there for me and never judged me," Steve says.

"Sarah Rogers is a saint. That's what everyone always said and it's damn true. She was so much better about it than my folks woulda been."

"Why are you so sure that they'd hate you, Buck?"

"I never told ya this, because I never wanted to scare you, but my dad took me to see something one night. Something awful. He told me to get out of bed and get dressed and to follow him. So, I did. He took me out to an alley where a group of men were beating these other two men. He told me that's what happens to queers, he told me if I ever saw any to beat the shit out of them. Said it'd make him proud if I did," Bucky whispers.

Steve's face is contorted with sadness and a bit of anger. He wraps Bucky up in a hug and it's wonderful. Steve's warm and strong, he smells like freedom and eagles. Bucky starts laughing at his own horrible joke, he's not proud. 

"That's awful, Buck. I wish you had told me, we could have talked about it."

"You always were the one keen on talking about our emotions, Stevie. It's alright now though, Tony educated me on all things sexuality and gender identity related. He helped me out a lot when I was too scared to talk to you about it," Bucky says.

"Sorry for getting all weirdly jealous about Tony earlier. I jumped to conclusions and it wasn't a good thing to do," Steve says.

"Nah, it's cool. With the amount of time I spend down in the lab, I'm surprised more people don't think Tony and I are dating. Also, I just realized that we forgot the 'kiss' part of 'kiss and make up,'" Bucky says before leaning into Steve's space.

Steve meets him halfway and their lips brush. The kiss is tentative at first, like their testing each other out, but then it's all tongue and teeth and just really fucking hot. It's certainly not the best kiss Bucky's experienced (skill-wise) in his life, but it's certainly the best. Because this is Steve he's kissing. Steve, who wears American flag underwear un-ironically (don't ask how Bucky knows that), who's always drawing in that sketchbook of his, who hasn't changed his hairstyle since 1928. This is Steve and Steve is perfect in every way. 

They break apart so they regain their breath and Steve's smiling at him shyly. Bucky returns the smile, because he hasn't been this happy in a very long time and it feels great. Why didn't they do this ages ago? Honestly, they're both so damn stupid. Bucky knows that somehow Natasha will know that he and Steve got together before they even think of telling the others. She'd be butting their heads together if they hadn't got it together.

"So, that happened," says Steve after a minute.

"Yeah, it really did," Bucky says dreamily.

"Buck, what did you say earlier about me being the emotional one when you're the one sounding like a teenage girl. 'Oh Steve, you're so great. Such a great kisser and you can just take me right here, right now,'" Steve says in a high-pitched voice.

"You're such a punk."

"Whatever you say, jerk. You still love me," Steve says with a pleased smile.

"I do, don't I? How'd you get so lucky to land a hot piece of ass like me?," Bucky teases.

That's when they hear a muffled "ow!" coming from the ceiling. Bucky and Steve's heads snap up at the same time. Then, Clint is falling out of the vent followed by Natasha and Tony. The latter two dropping with much more grace than the former did. Steve gets his look of disapproval on his face and Bucky gives them his best death glare.

"It was Barton's fault," Tony says instantly.

"I'm sure it was, Tony," Steve says sarcastically.

"As much as I hate to agree with Tony, he's right. After you two left, we saw Barton leave and we followed him," Natasha says.

"Yes, but that was a while ago. Barton may have started it, but you two wanted to know what was going on just as much as he did," Bucky says.

"I just wanted to see if I had to get you two together or not," Natasha says.

"And I wanted to see if you would at least come out to Steve," Tony says.

"I wanted to see Barnes's reaction when Steve confessed his undying love for him," Clint says with a grin.

"Tony, Natalia, we'll discuss this later. Steve, I assume you'll deal with Clint. Considering you thought it was a good idea to talk to him about this of all things," Bucky says.

"Fine, fine. We're going now. I owe Bruce some money anyways. He said Bucky would say the L word first, I thought differently," Clint says.

With that not so shocking remark, the three of them leave and it's just Bucky and Steve again. They turn to each other and last five whole seconds before bursting out laughing. This certainly isn't the way either of them pictured getting together and yet, it's still really good. If anything, it's better because now they've got an interesting story to tell their kids someday. Also, the way this all happened reflects their lives in the modern world and in the tower. The Avengers aren't just Bucky's friends, he realizes in that moment; they're his family.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Stucky fanfiction, so I hope it didn't totally suck. If anyone has any tips for me, that'd be amazing.


End file.
